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Vacant Mindless Devotee
The Karate Kid


Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Posts: 112

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:26 pm    Post subject: science fiction Reply with quote

a roadside attraction
neon lights and empty thoughts
the cameras zoomed and its my cue
Im dreaming in an empty room

she moves at a fickle pace
her every breathe with a purpose
famous for those piercing eyes
shes unhinged but such a sight

I sit down and strap in
enjoy the ride but not the wind
the science fiction of a serious man
dragging down that road again
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stiggy
Turbo Geek


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 334
Location: Bedlam

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really liked your peom, and it inspired me to respond.


Science Stranger Than Fiction

What is it that isn't quite right?
Maybe its some sort of joke,
But how does man fly
Without wings of his own?

This journey will be short,
But longer than a man's life,
Be warned!
Once you set off
You set off to die.

So why go at all if there is no return,
Would you rather stay walking in place?,
One can only dream of leaving time behind,
Going so far as to reach the limits of space?

The end is only the beginning,
When you lose yourself you'll find,
That life is more than these walls,
This prison that keeps us confined.

Will you be so brave,
As to push yourself to the max?
To burn out like a candle,
Leaving a puddle of melted wax?

Noone can say for sure
If they'd become a martyr for science,
But death is part of the pay
For opening everyones eyelids.
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amapola
The Karate Kid


Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Posts: 100

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:07 pm    Post subject: Re: science fiction Reply with quote

Vacant Mindless Devotee wrote:
a roadside attraction
neon lights and empty thoughts
the cameras zoomed and its my cue
Im dreaming in an empty room

she moves at a fickle pace
her every breathe with a purpose
famous for those piercing eyes
shes unhinged but such a sight

I sit down and strap in
enjoy the ride but not the wind
the science fiction of a serious man
dragging down that road again


I like poems like this where the meaning is rather ambiguous and left to the readers interpretation. Of course, there are some poems that you can make no sense of whatsoever and you're left wondering if you're just being thick, or if in fact it's just a complete load of self-indulgent drivel.
Not so here Cool But it does open itself up to several meanings. A rather sleazy motel and a meeting with a prostitute? Or perhaps, more likely, an afternoon spent watching a movie in an empty theatre?

Whatever it is, I hope you'll share some more of your writing here, this is nicely original.
_________________
We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered
~ Tom Stoppard
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Vacant Mindless Devotee
The Karate Kid


Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Posts: 112

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@ Stiggy, wow great work, its cool how that inspired you to respond!

@ Poppy, yes my favorite poems and lyrics are cryptic in nature but specific in an individuals mind, thanks for the compliment
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